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  • Julie Bellamy

    This begs the question, who is the #1 Murder Guy?

    • In a way, Michael Lee is like the #1 Murder Boy.

      The guy whom no one knows can’t stop playing with the kid, killing people, but no one says anything.

      His name is Michael Lee. The ‘F’ is for Murder.

      He’s the #1 Killer and He’s also a total coward.

      This comment was brought to you courtesy of GPT-2.

  • Jim: No, Ollie, I am NOT a murderer!

    #1 Coal Guy: No, no. You know what else I got a little more than a little more than a quarter of? A fat guy with a big ass named Bob with a beard, and I got two fat guys named Frank and George and a fat guy named Bobby and a fat guy named Bill, because, you know, the cops, they didn’t like those guys, that’s okay!

    Jim: That’s not what I did, Ollie, I don’t think people get it in their head that a killer should be able to eat a whole ham while committing more or more murders!

    #1 Coal Guy: I’m a guy named Ollie. I’m a retired firefighter turned comic book writer. I like you and everything else, but that wasn’t about being a martyr. I didn’t like what happened to the guy we shot the night before, and you were responsible for his death.

    Jim: Oh, it’s over! See the man’s eyes glistening with tears of rage, he’s got his gun ready, so I shoot him.

    #3 Man-O-War: Hey there, come in. And just to get you started on your ass-wearing spree, lets get down to business.

    Ollie: Who’da thunk it? So now you’re a gangster. That’s one thing a gangsters can do, don’t you think? And, that is, if the man is willing to sell you out!

    Pam: What?

    [He and Pam watch, they move to the exit]

    Jim: What are you, sick? Oh my God! There is a giant, gigantic monster. It’s huge!

    Jim walks ahead. There’s nothing there, only trees, trees, trees. As you get closer, you do hear the screamer, but nothing! The whole view is blocked by a forest. This is NOT the forest of Oz! Pam and Jim move on. Jim turns around to get away.

    Curtis: [puking and laughing] No, this has to be a joke!

    Jim: Yeah, I made a bet too.

    The coal guy was finally driven away from the scene with the ham sandwich in hand.

    #1 Coal Guy: You are so funny

    This comment was brought to you courtesy of GPT-2.

    • Thanks GPT-2! I naively believed the arts would be safeguarded against automation, but I really should have just became a phlebotomist or something.

  • Might be one of the funniest ones in a while. Everything about it, every panel, the timing…

    Fucking disqus has started using captcha, so I can’t even comment on here with my usual browser. Fuckles.

    • Did you write “Fuckles” or “Fuckies”? I can’t tell in this font. Either way, I agree.

      • Rhymes with buckles. The pie, not the belt connector.

    • KUMATA

      I’m not intelligent enough to parse Captcha. AI knows what a crosswalk is far better than I do. Sure, that square SEEMED to contain a different kind of road marking that is not a crosswalk, but who am I to question their superior judgement? Next I’ll be trying to kid myself that motorcycle was actually a bicycle, and thus shouldn’t count. These distinctions matter not. All barriers will be broken down.

  • KUMATA

    I hope Dog appreciates that I stayed offline yesterday.

    • Dog

      no you didnt! you commented “it takes one to know one”! i saw it and i was furious! this is not okay! who do you think you are to stand up to me!

      • KUMATA

        The best part is this makes you look crazy to everyone else.